i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
