So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
