How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
