i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
