Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
