im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
