I'm eating all of the evidence.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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