they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
