I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
