the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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