our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
