Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
