After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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