I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
