She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
