he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
