that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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