6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
