And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
