All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize