The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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