We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I think I died a long time ago.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Randomize
