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I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
