Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
