Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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