So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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