would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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