..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You smell like stripper and shame
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
