Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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