i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
