Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You are a genius and a whore.
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