remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
