Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
