how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
