I'll bet she douches with gravy.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize