who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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