I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
