i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
