It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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