I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
