That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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