He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
