whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize