Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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