I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
