yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
dude i'm inner monologue high
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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