The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
