You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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