i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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