it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
