I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
