I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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