i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Someone came in the potted fern
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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