Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
