dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
