Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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