i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize