god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
