I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
