Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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