i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I love you. Go after that dick
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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