i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize