We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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