just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
There r osticjed everywhere
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
