why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
