How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Randomize
