My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
why does every cop we meet know your name?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
