i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
